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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Book Review: THE GHOST MAKER: A HALLOWEEN TALE (1988, John Carpenter)

In continuing John Carpenter week, here's a little oddity- originally published in the New York Times on October 31, 1988, this short story is extremely derivative of H.P. Lovecraft, but is certainly enjoyable enough as a miniature horror yarn designed to complement your bowl of Count Chocula or what-have-you on a Halloween morning. It recalls most readily Lovecraft's "The Outsider," one of his most famous short stories (which in turn, is rather indebted to Poe).

Carpenter additionally injects the theory of Schrodinger's Cat into the narrative, which imbues it with a touch of Science Fiction. He peppers the story with references to Lovecraft, from "Dr. Necron," to the asylum frame story, to simply the language itself- and, as such, it feels more like a mere pastiche than, say, Carpenter's Lovecraft-inspired films like IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS or PRINCE OF DARKNESS (or to some extent, THE THING), which take on distinct lives of their own. In short, it's not a piece of any literary significance, but an interesting curiousity for the Carpenter (or Lovecraft) fan. The original story appears below:



The Ghost Maker: A Halloween Tale
© 1988, John Carpenter and The New York Times.

I live my days in silence, behind the barred in windows of this asylum, in a cell of shadows. Until this moment I have spoken to no living person of the events of that Halloween night five years ago - because I could neither ask for nor expect belief.

But today, my doctor has given me paper and a pen, as he hopes I shall be compelled to write out my tale of horror and madness - once and for all expelling the demons that hold me in their catatonic embrace. I know this horror shall never leave me. So my purpose, Dear Reader, is to finally put before the world the events of Oct. 31, five years past, as I experienced them, that no man may follow me to this hideous darkness in which I dwell, awaiting the only mercy I shall ever know - my release - the moment of death.

It was a bitterly cold night and I welcomed the warmth of the hearth in Howard Necron's study that All Hallow's Eve five years ago. I settled myself comfortably into an armchair by the crackling fireplace and waited as Necron poured two large snifters of brandy. He then turned to me with the oddest smile...

"I suppose, William, that you wonder why I have asked you here this evening," Necron said as he poured the amber liquid.

I admitted that I had been somewhat curious, as for the last 15 years we had been bitter professional rivals. We had once been partners in science and the closest of friends as well, but a dark schism had developed over our opposing research ethics. Necron had always wanted to prove that which should have, to my mind at least, remained in the ephemeral world of mathematics and theory. Disagreement had turned to debate, which in turn had become cold enmity.

"What would you say, William, if I told you that using universally accepted scientific principles, I could create a ghost?"

"I would say, Necron, that you were as mad as a March hare." My smile of derision must have been obvious, for he turned quickly away, pausing for a moment with his back to me before he slowly crossed the study to hand me the brandy snifter.

"To science, eh, William?" As he raised his glass to mine, his gaze seemed to burn into me, as if a shrewd smokey secret passed behind his eyes. I nodded and took a sip of the brandy. It had a sharp undertaste, and as I started to mention something about it, Necron settled himself closer to me on the ottoman at my feet.

"What is Schrodinger's cat?" he asked in a whisper.

"There's no need for this. We both know what it is." I suddenly felt unfocused. Drowsy. Probably the heat from the fire, making me sleepy. "It is a... a... thought experiment used to demonstrate the paradox of observer-created reality," I answered.

Necron seemed unbearably close to me now, his face but inches from my own.

"Yes," he said, "Nothing is real until you observe it."

Necron now stood, staring down at me with triumph and ice, the fire flickering on his face, shadows squirming like mad, devouring insects. A wave of dizziness washed through me.

Necron continued: "Imagine a box. The size of a coffin. Inside it is a radioactive particle with a 50-50 chance of decaying in, say, one minute. Also in the box is a glass bottle containing cyanide gas, and a Geiger counter. And, finally, into the box, is placed - an unconscious man."

"A cat, wasn't it?" I broke in. I was having a difficult time maintaining any line of reasoning, but there was a chill to his words.

His eyes began to drift strangely above me, as I sipped once again from my drink. That metallic undertaste assaulted me again. What had he put in my brandy? Could Necron be that insane? I tried to focus on his face. His features seemed to melt in the heat of the fire.

"If the radioactive particle decays, the Geiger counter so records it, trips a hammer, smashes the glass bottle, thus allowing the cyanide gas to escape and kill the man."

Necron's words were running all together.

"You mean... the cat," I mumbled weakly.

"Or," he said, "if the particle does not decay, the Geiger counter is silent, the hammer not tripped, the man allowed to live."

The room was spinning like a child's music box. The heat from the fireplace... Necron looming above me... My eyes bobbed open, closed. "What did you put... in my drink?"

But Necron ignored my slurred question.

"Don't you see, William? I could be either a murderer or a savior, because until human eyes see inside the box, the man inside is both dead and alive at the same time - a complex, linear combination of the two. The man in the box is a ghost of all possibilities of dead and alive, condemned to live in a limbo until the box is opened and he is observed by human eyes." His voice had dropped to a sibilant rasp, eyes glowing with a fury.

The snifter of brandy suddenly fell from my fingers. As I lost consciousness Necron's face was the last thing I saw.

"I am the ghost maker," he said, grinning. Then there was nothing. Blackness. Silence.

I awoke. I was lying down. Enclosed. Trapped. I couldn't move. Listening. Trying to breath. Then suddenly I threw up my arms. Touched a solid surface above me, no more than a foot away from my face. A lid. I was buried. In a coffin. A box.

I pushed up the lid a fraction of an inch.

A sliver of morning sunlight appeared as the lid opened, illuminating the inside of the box.

I suddenly saw the thing above me. It was hovering, just a foot away. Its body prone, it was staring down at me. Fuzzy. Indistinct. Its arms reached for me and at the same time another pair of arms lay at its side.

It was a blurred composite. A living transition. A contradiction. All possibilities, dead and alive. It undulated. Gazing eyes. Dead eyes. Living eyes. Blue decaying flesh.

In the fraction of a second before it disappeared I saw the creature's shape crawling, diffracting - indefinite, exploding anew out of rippling flesh.

A leering death's head began to scream down at me, disintegrating, crumbling and decomposing, growing and rejuvenating, humanity degraded and corrupted, dead and alive, revealed in an instant.

And then it was over. The thing disappeared. Its features settled, collapsed into definition. I looked around - the glass bottle at my feet was unbroken, the cyanide gas contained. The Geiger counter at my side was silent.

My mind raced frantically. Dead plus alive. Alive minus dead. Dead plus the square root of minus alive.

And then, as I continued to push upward, the impact of Necron's experiment hit me. As my fingers lifted the underside of the lid, the thing made man stared back at me in horror, screaming a long, sustained shriek of utter annihilation. Touching the unfeeling surface of a mirror - I realized the hideous image had been a reflection - it was I.

-John Carpenter

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Music Review: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, The Coupe de Villes)


Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 3 minutes, 22 seconds.
Best line: "Take us away.... Take us away.... Take us awayyyyyyyyy......"

John Carpenter- Vocals, Bass guitar. No introduction necessary.

Nick Castle- Vocals, Keyboards. Donned the mask of Michael Myers, aka The Shape, in HALLOWEEN. Co-wrote ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and HOOK. Directed THE LAST STARFIGHTER, THE BOY WHO COULD FLY, and um, MR. WRONG. Wrote and directed TAG: THE ASSASSINATION GAME, a precursor to GOTCHA!

Tommy Lee Wallace- Guitar. Converted the $1.98 William Shatner mask into the Michael Myers mask fans know and love, and briefly wore it in the final scenes of the original HALLOWEEN. Edited HALLOWEEN and THE FOG. Directed HALLOWEEN 3: SEASON OF THE WITCH, FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2, and STEPHEN KING'S IT.

Together: these men are the Coupe de Villes. One of the most rockingest bands of the 1980's, or any other decade. I'm serious. And the music video for their little ditty, "Big Trouble (in Little China)"- a song which played over the closing credits of the film of the same name- gives us an unprecedented glimpse into Carpenter's creative process.

Set in BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA's editing room, this music video blurs the lines of reality and fiction as Carpenter, Castle, and Wallace encounter all manner of villains, creatures, and 80's lightning as they simultaneously cut the film and bring down they house with this absolutely kickin' tune:



Alright- I hear you jag-offs sniggering in the back row. Sure, they don't exactly look like rock stars. But may I remind you: this predated the bland, airbrushed perfections of today's repulsive music scene. This was the 80's.

Dire Straits was hot shit:


Yello enjoyed moderate success:


Why not the Coup de Villes? Maybe it has something to do with the fact John Carpenter was too busy making the best films of the 80's to focus on properly marketing his band?

Regardless- onto the song:


"You can feel the wind is risin', baby, now the truth is near..."

Whoa- who is that? Is that Jim Morrison, back from the grave? John Carpenter's voice is really that sonorous? That resonant?


"Outta the dark they're comin, baby, all the things you fear..."

Could that enthusiastic, high-pitched inflection really be the voice of 'The Shape' himself?

"MmmmMMM....we'd better run...."

Listen to that infectious bass line! I challenge you to name me a better bass line from '86. And that little 'Eastern' pitch-bendy thing they're doing? I wanna hear some more of that.

"Runnin' through the mystic night...run until they take us away...take us away ...TAKE US AWAYYYYY! Big trouble...IN little CHYYYY-na!


You can feel the thunder movin', baby, like an evil dream...


"And there's no one in the world to save us, baby, nothin's as it seems..."

"MmmmMMM....we'd better run.... Runnin' through the mystic night...run until they take us away...take us away ...TAKE US AWAYYYYY! Big trouble...IN little CHYYYY-na! We got big trouble... HERE IN LITTLE CHi-na-nuh.... We better run...Mmmmm-running through the mystic night- runnin' through the rolling fire... Runnin' through the burning blades... runnin' through to call it's name... Runnin' through the midnight pain... runnin' till they take us away, Take us away.... Take us away.... Take us awayyyyyyyyy...... Big trouble....in little china...We got big trouble.... in little China...We got big trouble... in little China..."
And here's a picture of Tommy Lee Wallace rocking out, because I don't want to feel like I'm neglecting him:


Now, lyrically and musically, it remains relatively uncomplex, but that only works to its advantage. My only complaint, perhaps, is the use of a drum machine where a live drummer could have brought some serious character: what other Carpenter cronies could have done the job? I don't know, does Larry J. Franco play the drums? Donald Pleasence? Hey, why not go with the sexy female drummer vibe and get Jamie Lee Curtis up there? PERFECT revealed her to possess certain sense of rhythm. But, whatever- I'm not going to criticize. When a song has got as irresistable a bass line as this one, it can pretty much do whatever the fuck it wants. Plus it ends with an explosion, which, personally, I think is pretty goddamned great.

Anyway, there's a lot more going on here than just the song, which doesn't quite lend itself to an in-depth, scholarly analysis- it's about what it says it is: "big trouble in little China." Let's look at the visuals:

It seems that the post-production process of BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA brought with it some unexpected hazards– like Lo Pan's eye-zapping energy escaping the screen and imbuing a shocked and traumatized John Carpenter's bass guitar (which is actually a 1962 Hofner Violin Bass, the same as Paul McCartney used in his prime) with the power of 80's lightning and the ability to thrive on persuasive riffs:



And when John finishes cutting the sequence, Nick Castle has to grab the next reel from the shelf... which happens to contain an escaped beastie from the film! It's a good thing Nick didn't take a big sip of water right before he opened this reel, or else we'd have a major spit-take on our hands:




John's behavior becomes increasingly erratic, and his personality appears to become fused with that of Lo Pan himself.

Nobody seems to care much because he starts rocking out harder than ever.


'Thunder' (from the film) appears behind John's shoulder, puffs up, and explodes– just as a knife slices the picture in two and ends the music video (and the resultant psychogenic fugue state between John Carpenter/Lo Pan), freeing Lo Pan's evil spirit to roam elsewhere.

This is what it's all about, ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned to this station for perhaps more Coup de Villes coverage in the future....

-Sean Gill

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Film Review: THE RESURRECTION OF BRONCHO BILLY (1970, James R. Rokos)

Stars: 3.8 of 5.
Running Time: 23 minutes.
Tag-line: "The Academy Award Winning sepia-toned tribute to the Old West and Western film."
Notable Cast or Crew: Johnny Crawford (THE SHOOTIST, EL DORADO), Kristin Harmon (OZZIE & HARRIET, Ricky Nelson's wife 1963-1982), Wild Bill Tucker. Written by John Carpenter, Nick Castle (co-writer of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, was "The Shape" in HALLOWEEN, directed THE LAST STARFIGHTER), Trace Johnston, James R. Rokos, & John Longenecker. Music and Editing by John Carpenter. Cinematography by Nick Castle. Ricky Nelson (RIO BRAVO, "I'm Walkin'", et al.) and Ruth Hussey (THE PHILADELPHIA STORY, ANOTHER THIN MAN) are credited as "Voice Overs," but not on the original print.
Best one-liner: "You're spendin' all your money at the movies, you oughta put some of that into payin' your rent!"

THE RESURRECTION OF BRONCHO BILLY was a USC student film from producer John Longenecker and his "Super Crew" of four young filmmakers (including Carpenter and notable crony Nick Castle). It won the 1970 Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film, and played theatrically alongside prints of select Universal pictures for the next two years. Sadly, this is probably the closest Carpenter will ever come to an Oscar, though I suppose we're pretty damned far from an idealized world where, say, THEY LIVE is beating RAIN MAN for best picture. Carpenter was 22 at the time, and though he had made a series of short films dating back to when he was 8, this was his first involvement in a, shall we say, "serious project" (though I know Carpenter himself would bristle at that terminology).

It's a portrait of a young man (Johnny Crawford as Billy) who spends his life wrapped in the protective (?) gauze of an idealized celluloid past, specifically that of the old Hollywood Western. He roams about town, enduring mild misfortune and general alienation, and ultimately divorces himself from reality, choosing cowboy daydreams over modern malaise. As such, I'd say it's a slightly darker film than John Carpenter's twangy, nostalgic country guitar riffs would lead you to believe. (I feel as if many members of the Academy may have zoned out during the flick and mistook the trappings of sentimentality for actual sentimentality- or, maybe I did just the opposite.)

Billy's a wayward soul, and his love of the Wild West (through film) leads him to adopt the posturing and accoutrements of the era. His apparent hero is a grizzled old timer, Wild Bill Tucker, who bears some resemblance to his namesake and will talk a blue streak about old bygone days with little to no prompting.

Wild Bill is certainly a mentor figure, and he's bestowed Billy with an antique watch, yet it appears that even Billy is bored by him- the camera continually pans to a ticking clock on the wall as he chatters away. It's also unclear if Wild Bill is reciting lines or just endearingly rambling- but I suppose it doesn't really matter either way.

Billy goes forth into the world, a solitary man lost in an abstract world of his own making. The din of traffic becomes a cattle drive, a passing businessman becomes a dueling opponent, the neighborhood bar becomes a musty tavern.

But a few doses of reality remind Billy of the dangers of living one's life on the (theoretical) silver screen: In 1970, they ask for I.D.s at bars- take a walk, kid. The punks who'll roll you for cash, steal your watch, and call you 'faggot' can't be easily gunned down with a gleaming silver six-shooter.


The pretty girl at the park who'd like to sketch you (Ricky Nelson's wife, Kristin Harmon) isn't enchanted by your tales of 'why John Wayne wore his holster low' or 'how to properly corral a horse.' In fact, she's so bored, she gets up and leaves (in a mirror image of Billy leaving Wild Bill's?).

Is it a cautionary tale for those who would live their lives from a reel of film? A warning to young filmmakers who emptily parrot the things that they love, embracing monotony in the process? Or maybe, through cinematic sleight of hand, it is what it appears to be- an elegiac yearning for the days of Broncho Billy Anderson (THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY) which culminates in the original Broncho Billy's "Resurrection" via a a young man's flight of fancy?

So how do we take the ending: a color reverie, where Billy replays his exchange with Harmon's young artist with romanticized, (horse) operatic results?

The responses I've read seem to think of the ending as inspirational, but I can't help but feel that the final image we're really left with is elsewhere, unseen, in the world of black-and-white: the sad-eyed boy, chawing on a toothpick and playing dress-up, boring anyone who'll listen, and wondering why those rose-colored days of yore will never make an encore performance.

Though he didn't direct, it's tempting to place the film in a larger Carpenter context– alleyway scuffles like THEY LIVE, an urban Western landscape like ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, or even imagery of picket-fenced suburbia that recalls HALLOWEEN. But I believe that we must resist those temptations, as fun as it is to speculate. We can say with certainly, however, that the shadow of Hawks looms over the film, and even beyond the subject matter- star Johnny Crawford had played in EL DORADO, Ricky Nelson starred in RIO BRAVO (Carpenter's favorite film), and Ray Montgomery (who plays the Store Owner here) had appeared in GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES, MONKEY BUSINESS, and AIR FORCE.

In the end, it's a solid student film. And though it's a bit of a stretch, we can see a few of the thematic preoccupations that would typify Carpenter's later work. Nearly four stars.

-Sean Gill

You can obtain a copy of THE RESURRECTION OF BRONCHO BILLY directly from John Longenecker HERE.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Film Review: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Tag-line: "Adventure doesn't come any bigger!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Written by Gary Goldman (TOTAL RECALL, NAVY SEALS) & David Z. Weinstein, and transformed and adapted by W.D. Richter (HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS '78). Starring Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun (YEAR OF THE DRAGON, THE LAST EMPEROR), James Hong (BLADE RUNNER, CHINATOWN), Victor Wong (TREMORS, 3 NINJAS), Kate Burton (THE ICE STORM, UNFAITHFUL), Donald Li (ONE CRAZY SUMMER, MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN), Carter Wong (HARDCASE AND FIST, COUNTDOWN TO KUNG FU), Peter Kwong (GLEAMING THE CUBE, BRAIN SMASHER- A LOVE STORY), James Pax (INVASION U.S.A., KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS), Al Leong (the ubiquitous henchman from everything). Cinematography by Dean Cundey (THE THING, BACK TO THE FUTURE, JURASSIC PARK, D.C. CAB).
Best one-liner: "This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang."

"Son of a bitch must pay!" John Carpenter was on a serious hot streak in the 1980's- his output (THE THING, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, THEY LIVE, et al.), in my opinion, stands tall alongside a decade's worth of work from any comparable director. I've no idea why, but very few post-1970 filmmakers saw it fit to take up the mantle of Howard Hawks- delivering action-packed, immaculately constructed character-driven films for men's men (and where the ladies pulled no punches, either)... but John Carpenter was one of 'em (Walter Hill being a notable other), and, consequently, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA is a goddamned blast. It's all about sliding down a fireman's pole and ending up in the ancient Chinese underworld:

It's about that brief, ecstatic feeling of invulnerability after swigging the contents of the six-demon bag:

It's about roaring down the highway in the Freightliner called the Pork Chop Express, delivering lovably pompous CB radio monologues to no one in particular, and chomping from a ham sammy that’s bigger’n yer head.

It's about THIS:




But, in the end, it's mostly about this:

In short, it’s about the exhilaration of being ALIVE in a world of unfathomable mystery. “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?– Yessir, the check is in the mail.” Unfortunately, the studio didn't know how to market this kooky hodgepodge of kung fu, sorcery, cockiness, and rapid-fire banter, and it resulted in commercial failure (and Carpenter wishing to abandon the world of high pressure and even higher budgets). Lucky for us all, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA received a new lease on life on videocassette, and, for the initiated, remains a beloved cult hit.

It succeeds for me because it never feels the need to go "wink and nod," to establish itself as 'above' its material. Clearly Carpy loves this shit, full-tilt: kung fu, Hawks, John Wayne, all of it. And in transmitting the spirit of films past, he never loses the boyish excitement which drew him to them in the first place. Who has any use for a kung fu 'spoof' in a world where BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA exists? The fun Carpenter is having is genuine, and it is infectious. I may even go as far as to say that it may be the greatest "beer, pizza, and friends" film ever made. [Carpenter even goes further in showing the hell of a time he's having by having the Coupe de Villes (a band comprised of he and his filmmaking buddies Tommy Lee Wallace and Nick Castle) jam over the end credits with the balls-to-the-wall musical brilliance that is "Big Trouble (in Little China)," which may very well be the subject of a forthcoming music review.]





With a sleek, sharp, and funny script courtesy of eclectic screenwriting maestro W.D. Richter (adapted and updated from the screenplay to a Western by Gary Goldman and David Z. Weinstein) and lighthearted, old Hollywood-style direction from Carpy, Kurt Russell is free to step in and create a larger-than-life character (Jack Burton) who’s as ineffectual as he is badass; as impotent as he is lovable.

He’s John Wayne for an era where posturing and pretense mean everything, but when it comes to ACTION, – um, uh...what? Watch Russell as his faux-macho persona comes to grips with his initial inability to work a gun- and the subtle glimmer of panic in his eyes as he blasts his first henchman.

He's a runaway train of swagger, guts, and bluster who generally serves as a massive distraction while his "sidekick" (Dennis Dun's Wang Chi) actually gets shit done. Many have posited that though he's the main character, Jack Burton is actually Wang Chi's sidekick, which isn't a stretch of the imagination by any means. But you never tire of Russell's manically youthful cackle, or his proclivity toward moaning "Awwwwww, CHRIST!"

I love this movie. I love 80’s lightning effects.

I love the fact that the millennia-old Lo Pan’s demonic lair is totally decked out in neon and escalators.


I love the walleyed, hunchback'd, limpin', Chewbacca-lookin' creature who kidnaps Kim Cattrall.




I love the gangs who have apparently escaped from the set of a Golan-Globus flick.


I love the likably off-kilter performance of Victor Wong, who maintains dignity and authority in the midst of laser beams, slapstick, and rubbery varmints.


I love Jack Burton's ill-conceived act of subterfuge which allows us one final glimpse of Russell's charlatan, "Rudy Russo" from USED CARS.


I love the inventive, pre-CGI monsters

and the man who gets so pissed off, he literally explodes.

But ultimately, it’s the bonds of friendship, tempered by experience (“We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we, Wang?”), that are the measure of the human experience.


I know Hawks would be proud.

-Sean Gill


6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. ...