Only now does it occur to me... FOXES

Only now does it occur to me...

Okay, three things.

#1.  Continuing the Adrian Lyne rewatch (as previously glimpsed in silly observations on FLASHDANCE, UNFAITHFUL, and INDECENT PROPOSAL), I took a second look at FOXES, a coming-of-age drama that I'd last glimpsed as a youngster, via a library VHS.  It's actually still a solid movie, and well-acted, with fantastic 1980 flourish in the costumes, the random Randy Quaid, the glory of Scott Baio in a tuxedo t-shirt, the likably raw performance of Runaways lead singer Cherie Currie, and the ever-present Giorgio Moroder-produced soundtrack... there's a lot to like here, and the story is told in a way that's unflinching and authentic, making it feel like a definite precursor to "adult" teen fare like FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH.

#2.  An unexpected, super-young, super-nerdy, quasi-villanous performance from a thirteen-year-old Laura Dern!

If I were Donald Gibb in REVENGE OF THE NERDS, I just might say "Nice glasses, neeeeeeeeeeeeeerd!"

#3.  At one point, Cherrie Curie gets picked up while hitchhiking by a couple of leering, lecherous San Fernando Valley swingers who are so caricatured and clearly "evil" that they look they swung straight out of EATING RAOUL.  Now, I don't know if it's because it was late at night, or because I'd had a few drinks already, but it struck me suddenly that the swingers were the exact Bizarro versions of Faye Dunaway and William Shatner.  Amirite?

Well, maybe.  Anyway.  FOXES, ladies and gentlemen!

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Only now does it occur to me... LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

Only now does it occur to me...  that the Willis vs. Schwarzenegger "rivalry" runs deeper than the EXPENDABLES.

I've followed the semi-fictitious "rivalries" between action stars on this site such as "Bronson vs. Eastwood" and "Schwarzenegger vs. Stallone," rivalries that pop up probably due to the actors being up for the same roles and generally expressing themselves in onscreen, good-natured ribbing and obscure references for the benefit of the diehards (no pun intended).  Being as they'd never really taken the spotlight together, I assumed that the Schwarzenegger vs. Willis jocularity in EXPENDABLES 1 & 2 was manufactured for the series, and befit their "major star in bit part" pairing.   Now, that I stand back and look at it from afar, it seems this "feud" has been brewing for years.

I got to thinking, and began to wonder– John McTiernan made DIE HARD and THE LAST ACTION HERO.  Willis had even worked with Shane Black's writing before on THE LAST BOY SCOUT.  Was Willis jealous that he wasn't 'the Last Action Hero?'  And afterward, when its financial losses became apparent, was Schwarzenegger peeved that it hadn't been Willis in the role?  Did Willis gloat?  That seems like something he would do.  Did Schwarzenegger mock him for his "Bruno" musical career and those Seagram's Golden Wine Coolers ads?  The possibilities are endless.  Of course, that's just speculation.  But look at this:

Willis, Schwarzenegger, and Stallone appearing together on British television in 1993.  Notable for  their spectacular 1993 fashions (for instance, Stallone's Planet Hollywood baggy stonewashed jean vest and Schwarzenegger's Hawaiian shirt that proves that he's actually playing 'himself' in TWINS),

Willis' clear but thinly veiled distaste for the host (Terry Wogan),

Stallone's insistence that he does not deliver one-liners well (ask COBRA about that!), the special presumably drunken appearance by Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith,

 Wogan's creepy request that Willis show off his left breast

as well as Wogan forcing him to awkwardly talk about INDECENT PROPOSAL in terms of Demi Moore and his personal life, and finally the simultaneously childlike and depraved way Arnold's eyes light up when INDECENT PROPOSAL is discussed, as if the idea of asking a woman to sleep with him for a million dollars is just then hatching in his mind.

In short, this is magnificent.

Anyway, now knowing that their friendship and rivalry has existed for many years, that brings me to the actual point of this entry.  Which is that in LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, Bruce Willis (while protecting Justin Long from the bad guys)




takes out a TERMINATOR (figurine) as collateral damage and smirks about it!  If that ain't a shot across the bow, I don't know what is!


As a side note, I only rewatched LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD (4) in order to pump myself up for seeing A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD (5) in theaters.  Though not horrible, seeing DIE HARD 4 again sufficiently disheartened me to the extent that I think I'm gonna wait on 5 for DVD.  Ah, well.

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Only now does it occur to me... UNFAITHFUL

Only now does it occur to me...  Balloon Saloon!  Allow me to explain. 
So I've been on a Adrian Lyne rewatch kick and I finally got around to watching UNFAITHFUL, his surprisingly faithful (no joke intended) remake of Claude Chabrol's 1969 film, THE UNFAITHFUL WIFE.  I enjoyed it quite a bit, and the performances– particularly by Diane Lane and Richard Gere (the AMERICAN GIGOLO himself playing the cuckold in a piece of genius casting)– are incredibly in tune with one another, and subtle even in the midst of scenes that nearly ring "soap opera." 
The film begins with Diane Lane exiting a shop and entering a windstorm of Biblical proportions– or at least Bugs Bunny cartoon proportions.  She is hefted to and fro by the winds until she melodramatically meets a dangerously handsome Frenchman whereupon the titular unfaithfulness is set into motion.  Let me back up a moment– about that shop:

 It is a balloon saloon.

 
 


And I guarantee you this is the only time in film you will see Diane Lane battered about by giant balloon dinosaurs and zebras.



Even better, I recognized the balloon saloon from semi-frequent trips to Tribeca.
 
 Imagine it!  A bar where you can get balloons as well!  Alas, my dreams were dashed when I entered the establishment and discovered that it was simply a party center.  I craned my neck to look behind the counter with the helium tanks and the ribbon cutting station, hoping to spy a glimpse of a lonely tap of "Balloon Saloon Lager," but there was no such luck.  I'm still holding out hope that there's a back room speakeasy, accessible by password, which contains a portal to the clown bar from SHAKES THE CLOWN.  We can all dream, can't we?

By the way, J.D. over at Radiator Heaven did a great writeup on this film some time ago, too, if you want to read an informed opinion on something other than the Balloon Saloon.

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Only now does it occur to me... INDECENT PROPOSAL

Only now does it occur to me... that my favorite part of INDECENT PROPOSAL may very well be the brief, incredibly ill-advised flashback whereupon the thirty-one year old Demi Moore and the thirty-two year old Woody Harrelson are depicted as high school students.

Please bear in mind that this film is in no way intended to be a comedy.  

Adrian Lyne films generally fall into two camps:  Camp A:  slick, well-acted, extremely sincere fare (FLASHDANCE, INDECENT PROPOSAL, 9 1/2 WEEKS, FATAL ATTRACTION) that's designed as erotica Oscar bait but ends up in hindsight possessing uncommonly well-crafted unintentional hilarity.  Camp B:  JACOB'S LADDER.  And don't get me wrong: I love Adrian Lyne, just occasionally for the wrong reasons.  He's sort of an unsung 80s/90s commercial auteur, perhaps comparable to a Philip Noyce or an Alan Parker or, on his best days, a Philip Kaufman.  I'm also kind of excited to see that Lyne has his first film in a decade coming out next year, BACK ROADS.

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