Film Review: TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS: BORDELLO OF BLOOD (1996, Gilbert Adler)

Stars: 2.5 of 5.
Running Time: 87 minutes.
Tag-line: I couldn't find one, but I believe the poster image of a martini-quaffing Cryptkeeper staring at a pair of partially-clad female legs is probably tag-line enough.
Notable Cast or Crew:  Starring John Kassir (The Cryptkeeper), William Sadler (DIE HARD 2, MACHETE KILLS), Dennis Miller (comedian, THE NET, DISCLOSURE), Erika Eleniak (E.T., UNDER SIEGE, BAYWATCH), Angie Everhart (model, ex-wife of Joe Pesci, LAST ACTION HERO), Chris Sarandon (FRIGHT NIGHT, THE PRINCESS BRIDE), Corey Feldman (STAND BY ME, THE LOST BOYS), Aubrey Morris (LIFEFORCE, "Deltoid" in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE), Phil Fondacaro (TROLL, WILLOW, GHOULIES II, "Greaser Greg" in THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS THE MOVIE).  Story by Bob Gale and Robert Zemeckis (BACK TO THE FUTURE Trilogy, USED CARS), and a special appearance by Whoopi Goldberg.  Screenplay by AL Katz (FREDDY'S NIGHTMARES, TALES FROM THE CRYPT) and Gilbert Adler (producer on TALES FROM THE CRYPT and SUPERMAN RETURNS) and directed by Adler.  Produced by Adler, Katz, Zemeckis, Richard Donner, Joel Silver, Walter Hill, and the rest of the TV Crypt gang.
Best One-liner:  "Trust me, quit while you're a 'head.'"  –The Cryptkeeper

The second film of its kind, TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS: BORDELLO OF BLOOD mostly serves as a feature-length reminder why TALES FROM THE CRYPT episodes should not be feature length– but along the way there is ample guilty pleasure to be enjoyed.  In fact, I think I can identify at least seven things in BORDELLO OF BLOOD that, while perhaps not approaching the mantle of "greatness," approach some effortless mantle of "sublime stupidity."  Oh yeah.  BORDELLO OF BLOOD ain't afraid to get stupid.  Real stupid.


Welcome to Angie Everhart's acting school.  I hope you're taking notes!

Produced, written, and directed by a lot of the usual suspects from the TALES FROM THE CRYPT family, BORDELLO OF BLOOD is especially notable for having an original story by Robert Zemeckis and his longtime writing partner Bob Gale.  While Zemeckis has been a CRYPT producer and director from the very beginning of the series, this marks the first time he officially made a writing contribution of any kind.  A word of advice?  Don't expect BACK TO THE FUTURE!  Instead, expect a dim retread of the previous Gale-scripted and directed episode from 1993 called "House of Horror," whereupon fraternity pledges meet their doom in a haunted house-initiation gone wrong.  In BORDELLO OF BLOOD, however, it's dumb teens who visit a vampiric brothel on the outskirts of town.  After they're reported missing, private eye Dennis Miller (?!) is on the case, which ends up involving archeology and intrigue at a local megachurch.  It's corny, slight, and predictable, but here are those seven bits of sublime stupidity that keep TALES FROM THE CRYPT fans comin' back for more:

#1.  William Sadler as the Cryptkeeper's drinkin' buddy.  Also– he's a mummy.

You get the sense that William Sadler is always having a lot of fun, whether he's doing naked kung fu in DIE HARD 2 or playing Twister against Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter in BILL AND TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY.  Technically the story kicks off as a wager between Sadler's mummy and ole' Crypty– apparently based on the quality of their stories, they sometimes cut each other to pieces for laughs or something?  (I think there's a "Cutting Cards" reference in there, too.)  This seems to exist solely for the payoff which I have catalogued under "Best One-Liner."

#2.  Bad boy Corey Feldman.  Look at him– so badass and ambiguously "90s subculture"

with his turquoise-eyeballed skull stud, his grunge jeans, leather jacket, and Bobby Briggs flannel.  He's got a TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT poster in his bedroom, too!  Regardless, this young ruffian's visit to the eponymous bordello is what kicks the plot into high gear.  Also, his (brief) presence here sorta feels like a nod to THE LOST BOYS.

Furthermore, his DEATH BECOMES HER-style demise and famous last words are poetry worthy of Lord Byron, or at least Beavis and Butthead:

"Oh shit!  This sucks! Uhhh..."


#3.  Crooked mega-pastor Chris Sarandon, wearing the worst tie of the 1990s and rocking out with his guitar like he's Chuck Berry.



This is actually what "makes" the movie, to whatever extent BORDELLO OF BLOOD can be "made."  He at first in league with the vampires (and not an actual vampire, like in the glorious FRIGHT NIGHT), helping lure young sinners to the Bordello of Blood.

Note the portrait of Sarandon on the wall behind Sarandon.

He also runs "The Lord's Shoppin' Network," wields a cross-shaped Jesus laser (which adheres to Chekhov's rule of Jesus lasers!), and pronounces laser like "lazzer."  All of this is pretty stupid, but all of this is also really good.

#4.  A rabid, demented supporting role from British character actor Aubrey Morris as an undertaker/pimp.

He knows exactly what movie he's in, and uses that as license to blaze bold and wondrous new trails in the annals of undertaker/pimpery.


#5.  Whoopi Goldberg?!

What's going on here?  She's around for about six seconds– long enough to pop up out of a hospital bed after a vampire battle and deliver the above rib-tickler.  Interestingly enough, this is not Whoopi's first TALES FROM THE CRYPT association– she also co-starred with James Remar and Vanity in the Tobe Hooper episode "Dead Wait" and even appeared as herself in the wraparound segment:

If I wrote the questions for JEOPARDY, you could bet that this would show up eventually.

#6.  A-movie (RETURN OF THE JEDI, WILLOW, THE DOORS), B-movie (GHOULIES II, TROLL, THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS) and C-movie (DOLLMAN VS. DEMONIC TOYS, RAGEWAR, MONSTER HIGH) legend Phil Fondacaro...  as Indiana Jones?!

He plays a vampire archeologist (I can't believe I just typed that) who becomes mixed up in a lot of Angie Everhart/Chris Sarandon intrigue.  This doesn't quite fit as sublime stupidity, as I must really tip my hat to their casting a little person in a role that doesn't necessarily call for one- how often does a guy like Phil Fondacaro get to play a straightforward "role," with no (troll/elf/alien/Ewok) qualification?

#7.  Dennis Miller and Chris Sarandon blast legions of vampire hookers into bloody goo-splosions with holy-water-filled Super Soakers to the resounding rock n' roll glory of The Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz."

Amen!

In the end, I'll give this two and a half stars.  I think I'm too close to it and I can't tell if I've inflated the rating or lowballed it.  Perhaps I'll let history be the judge.

–Sean Gill

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Film Review: VAMPIRES: LOS MUERTOS (2002, Tommy Lee Wallace)

Stars: 2.5 of 5.
Running Time: 93 minutes.
Tag-line: "John Carpenter's VAMPIRES took you to the edge of terror...  now get ready to cross the border."
Notable Cast or Crew:  Jon Bon Jovi of "Bon Jovi",  Cristián de la Fuente (BASIC, DRIVEN), Natasha Gregson Wagner (GLAM, URBAN LEGEND, HIGH FIDELITY), Arly Jover (BLADE, THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO), Darius McCrary ('Eddie Winslow' on FAMILY MATTERS, TRANSFORMERS), Diego Luna (MILK, Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN).  Music by Brian Tyler (THE EXPENDABLES, FRAILTY).   Special makeup effects supervised by Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger.  Written and directed by Tommy Lee Wallace (member of the Coupe de Villes, STEPHEN KING'S IT, HALLOWEEN III, FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2).  Executive produced by John Carpenter and Sandy King (his wife).
Best One-liner:  "Okay, we got a sucker!"

In a familiar, darkened alley, Poor Man's Carpy continues:

"Watch anything good lately?"
–"Well, you know me.  That's all pretty relative."
"Anything worth mentioning?"
–"You saw VAMPIRES, right?"
"We watched it together.  How could you forget!"
–"Oh, yeah.  Well, did you know there was a sequel?"
"What?!  VAMPIRES 2?"
–"Not exactly.  VAMPIRES: LOS MUERTOS.  Straight to video.  And it was handled by Carpy's grade school buddy, designer of Michael Myers' mask, and general horror sequel champ: Tommy Lee Wallace.  He did HALLOWEEN III, FRIGHT NIGHT 2, and AMITYVILLE II, to name a few."
"I love HALLOWEEN III."
–"So do I.  So.  Do.  I."
"Was Carpy involved?"
–"Pretty much in name only.  He refused to go down to Mexico for the shoot.  Apparently he'd had some bad experiences.  But he and the missus (Sandy King) acted as executive producers."

"Does it have anything to do with VAMPIRES 1?"
–"Sort of.  It takes place in the same modern-Western-mythscape, where the Catholic Church offers bounties for slain vampires.  One character from the first film, Father Guiteau (Tim Guinee), is referred to– as recently killed by vampires.  We even get to see his tombstone.

Other than that, it could pretty much be a standalone piece, though it certainly rips off the plot of the first VAMPIRES:  there's a love interest who is a telepathic part-infected-vampire, a massacre of monks in a monastery, a motley crew of vampire hunters, a sidekick priest, and the main thrust is that a master vampire is looking for the same magical cross that will allow vampires to walk in daylight."
"But no James Woods?"
–"Unfortunately, no.  But instead, we've got someone even better:  Jon Bon Jovi."

[PFFFFFFFT]  "Holy cow!  You just made me do a spit-take!  JBJ?!?!"
–"Shut up, no one actually calls him that.  ...Right?"
"I do."
–"Whatever."
"JBJ in a vampire-hunting western?!  This is terrific!"
–"Well..."
"...I'M A COWBOY, ON A STEEL HORSE I RIIIIIIDE.  WAAANNNNTEEED...UNDEAD OR ALIVE..."

–"Okay."
"You see what I did there?"
–"Yeah."
"...STAKE THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME.  DON'T GIVE CARPY A BAAAD NAME..."

–"You're very clever."
"...GONNA LIVE WHILE I'M ALIVE, I'LL SLEEP IN A COFFIN WHEN I'M UNDEAD..."

–"That's pretty weak.  Did you get all that out of your system?"
"Probably not."
–"Well, it is interesting that you want to linger on Jon Bon Jovi, because this thing–"
"JBJ, you mean?"
–"Because this movie seems tailor-made for him, almost like the script and production were fashioned completely around him.  First off, he plays a vampire hunter named 'Derek Bliss.'  If that's not an ersatz rock star name, I don't know what is.   Then, he plays a Western antihero– just like in the song, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.'

JBJ flashes his trademark 'sincere smile' and prepares to shimmy his fringe.


JBJ shows off the acting chops he learned on the Jersey bar circuit and prepares to slay some vampires.


He's always recording stuff with a video camera.  At first, I thought it was just his character's narcissism, but then I realized it might be a subtle nod to the black & white, faux-gritty, 'behind-the-scenes' segments that pop up in a lot of his music videos ('Living on a Prayer,' 'Wanted: Dead or Alive')

Such docurealism.

He's got a surfboard full of weapons (kind of like DESPERADO's guitar case of guns)

and one of his favorite vampire-slaying devices is a long spear, which he hoists around with ease.  I have no doubt this weapon was chosen because– hey: the man knows how to heft a mic stand.  A stake ain't much of a stretch."

"Wow."
–"Oh yeah, and he gets paid for his slays by the Van Helsing Group on 'the internet.'"

"Who else shows up?  Anybody good?"
–"Well, a few quasi-notables show up to crash Bon Jovi's master's class in acting.  First, we have Diego Luna, now an award-winning and respected actor (MILK, Y TU MAMÁ TAMBIÉN) as Bon Jovi's scrappy l'il sidekick."

"I bet he learned everything he knows from JBJ."

–"Yeah, that's it.  We also have Natasha Gregson Wagner as the love interest/part-vampire assistant, fulfilling the Sheryl Lee role from the original.  Ms. Wagner happens to be the daughter of the legendary Natalie Wood, though it seems she inherited the lion's share of her acting ability from her aunt, Lana."

"Who's Lana Wood?"
–"She played 'Plenty O'Toole' in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER.  And you'll recall that her line readings were so... creative that she had to be dubbed over in post."
"Oooh.  I see."
–"Eddie Winslow (Darius McCrary) from FAMILY MATTERS shows up, and infuses the movie with some mid-point badassery.

But then, after ten minutes of screentime, he falls victim to a vampire blowjob."


"Seriously?  Would you call that a (J)BJ?"
–"Oh, shut up.  He lurches along for a while after that, but he's already a 'dead man walking' and has already settled into the cliché of 'expendable black guy.'"
"That's too bad."
–"Rounding out the all-star cast is priest/poolboy Cristián de la Fuente, whom I correctly guessed has more than extensive telenovela résumé."

I could never keep a secret from JBJ.

"Sounds like with this scrappy crew, he's... LIVIN' ON A PRAYER."
–"That's enough."
"So what else?"
–"There's a bunch of horrible CGI 'fast-forward' vampire action..."
"Why do they allow that to happen?"
–"I don't know.  Then the vamps mess up a bar like in NEAR DARK, so that's a nice vampire Western nod, but you'll probably just wish you were watching NEAR DARK instead.  But every once in a while something spectacular happens, like Bon Jovi dropping a one-liner like 'HEY VAMPIRE!'

And I guess it all ends up okay, cause the finale involves a slo-mo flying car and an exploding decapitated head."



"That's the kind of thing I can sink my teeth into."
–"Har har har.  Then I even listened to some of the Tommy Lee Wallace audio commentary.  I might be the only person in the world who'll admit it.  But I had to.  He talks about what it was like to direct JBJ– I mean, Jon Bon Jovi."
"See?  You just did it, too."
–"Hush.  Apparently there were legions of adoring fans everywhere they went.  And he had the problem of Bon Jovi doing a lot of overemoting.  Tommy told him to tone it down, to play everything smaller.  But Bon Jovi apparently learned a lot– he said, 'Tommy, thanks for letting me dare to suck.'"
"Is that a vampire pun?"
–"Stop.  Interestingly enough, Tommy Lee Wallace also goes on at length about how Carpenter makes films about Hawksian heroes, and he made a film about unlikely heroes."
"The kinds of heroes who live on a prayer?"
–"I said, cool it."
"ONCE UPON A TIME, NOT SO LONG AGO
TOMMY USED TO JUST BE A COUPE DE VILLE
CARPY USED TO THROW HIM A BONE
HE'S BEEN DOWN ON HIS LUCK...IT'S TOUGH, SO TOUGH

CARPY'S BEEN KIND OF RETIRED
THANKS TO BAD REMAKES, HE STILL BRINGS HOME HIS PAY
FOR LOVE, FOR LOVE

CARPY SAYS WE'VE GOT TO HOLD ON TO WHAT WE'VE GOT

CAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF WE MAKE IT OR NOT

WE'VE GOT TWO VAMPIRES FILMS

AND THAT'S A LOT

FOR LOVE– WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT

WHOOOOAAA WHOAA, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE
OOOOH WAAA LIVIN' ON A PRAYER
TAKE MY HAND–"

–"Stop it!"

"But don't you get it?  The protagonist of 'Livin' on a Prayer' is actually named Tommy!"

–"I'm cutting you off."

"You can't cut me off– it's the holidays!"

–"Yes, I can."

"You can't stop me from picking the next movie, then:  JINGLE ALL THE WAY."

–"Dear Lord."

(to be continued)

–Sean Gill

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Only now does it occur to me... BLOOD BATH

Only now does it occur to me... that Sid Haig has played basically every ethnicity, at one time or another.

BLOOD BATH is a fairly terrible, but fairly watchable Roger Corman clusterfuck with an exceptionally convoluted production history that involved a Yugoslavian spy thriller, a Venice Beach-set vampire flick, co-financing by Roger Corman and Stephanie Rothman, co-direction by the legendary Jack Hill (COFFY, THE BIG BIRD CAGE, SPIDER BABY, FOXY BROWN) and Rothman, music (predictably) stolen from DEMENTIA 13, and all sorts of other random and bewildering things.  You can read about the absurdly labyrinthine twists and turns of the production here.

Also, it features one of the worst-looking vampires ever:

But that's not the point of this entry– the point is the hilarious spectrum of quasi-ethnic roles that have been played by Sid Haig.  Here, he plays a beatnik named "Abdul the Arab."

  
 Haig (far right) in a well-constructed community theater vest)

Haig (second from left) placing a close 2nd in the scene-chewing contest of this particular tableau

From what I've read, he's actually Armenian-American, but in other fine films he's played Hispanic (THE FIREBRAND, IRON HORSE, THE FLYING NUN, CHE!, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE), Native American (DANIEL BOONE), Italian (THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE), Turkish (GET SMART, OHARA), Arabian (BLOOD BATH, THE DON IS DEAD, SWITCH, FANTASY ISLAND, MACGUYVER),  Russian (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE), South American Indian (THE FORBIDDEN DANCE IS LAMBADA), Ambiguous Asian (BRING 'EM BACK ALIVE), and just plain "Swarthy" (MISFITS OF SCIENCE).  And I'm certain there's dozens I've missed or haven't seen.  Whew! Well done, Mr. Haig– you truly are a one man "It's a small world (after all)."

–Sean Gill

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Film Review: THE NIGHT FLIER (1997, Mark Pavia)

Stars: 4 of 5.

Running Time: 93 minutes.

Notable Cast or Crew:  Based on the short story by Stephen King.  Starring Miguel Ferrer (TWIN PEAKS, ROBOCOP, TRAFFIC, son of José Ferrer, cousin of George Clooney), Julie Entwhistle (IN AND OUT), Dan Monahan (PORKY'S, PORKY'S II: THE NEXT DAY), Michael H. Moss (ROBOCOP 3, PASSENGER 57).  Produced by Richard P. Rubenstein (DAWN OF THE DEAD, CREEPSHOW, TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE).  Makeup and special effects by Greg Nicotero (ARMY OF DARKNESS, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, THE WALKING DEAD, KILL BILL, DEADWOOD), Howard Berger (THE MIST, THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, EVIL DEAD II, THE FACULTY, INGLORIOUS BASTERDS), and Robert Kurtzman (PREDATOR, HOUSE III, IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, SCREAM).

Tag-line:  "Evil has a flight plan."

Best one-liner:  "Never believe what you publish, and never publish what you believe."

While it does lay claim to a small cult following, THE NIGHT FLIER is nonetheless a relatively overlooked work when it comes to the Stephen King film canon.  Is it a masterpiece?  No.  But it's a fun, gory thriller in the vein (no pun intended) of a long-form TALES FROM THE CRYPT or an X-FILES "Monster of the Week" episode that's held together with a strong, nuanced portrayal by snarky character actor extraordinaire, Miguel Ferrer.

Pictured: snarky character actor extraordinaire Miguel Ferrer.

Back in my review of THE DEAD ZONE, I wrote about the King character of "Richard Dees," a sleazoid reporter for a rag mag named "INSIDE VIEW," who makes appearances in THE DEAD ZONE novel and the short story "The Night Flier" (from the NIGHTMARES AND DREAMSCAPES collection).  Dees is an absurd caricature of "the amoral newspaperman," combining the privacy-invasions of the paparazzi with the hilarious, outright dishonesty of THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

He's the sort of man who says "never print what you believe, and never believe what you print," the original yellow journalist.  However, despite his outward lack of principles, you genuinely like him... sort of like every character Miguel Ferrer has ever brought to life!

Anyway, Ferrer's Dees is the protagonist of THE NIGHT FLIER, and he's seen here following a shadowy, cloaked figure who may or may not be a genuine vampire, an alleged blood-sucker who has adapted to modern times, jumping around from rural town to town overnight in a Cessna Skymaster, signing in as "Dwight Renfield" (alluding to Dwight Frye, the wonderful character actor who portrayed Renfield in the 1931 DRACULA), leaving behind unsolved murders, and always vanishing without a trace.

Part detective thriller, part morality tale, and part vampire horror, here's eight reasons why you ought to buckle up and take to the unfriendly skies with THE NIGHT FLIER, where evil has a flight plan, etc., etc....


#1.  The exquisite dickery of Miguel Ferrer.


A lot of movies have characters who are callous, hardened individuals whose gruff exteriors mask hearts of gold.  In the end, it is revealed that they always kept people at an arm's length because they really just needed some love and were afraid of rejection.  Conversely, the deeper meaning here is that Miguel Ferrer's Rick Dees keeps people at an arm's length because he despises them.

He may be a chain-smoking, heavy-drinking misanthrope, but by God, he's our chain-smoking, heavy-drinking misanthrope!

Piloting his own Cessna, Ferrer's Dees chases the Night Flier across the country, kickin' back with his Ray-Bans, dictating to a tape recorder, and looking down with disdain at the ant-sized people below.  Well done.


#2.  Ferrer's boss, Dan Monahan (PORKY'S actor and fusion of Jeffrey Combs and Charles Martin Smith), insists that he's perfect for this particular job because he's "good with the hicks."


This of course recalls Ferrer's legendary role on TWIN PEAKS as FBI Agent Albert Rosenfield, a man who hated yokels with even more fervor than Richard Dees, and a man who frequently unleashed incredibly verbose bon mots such as the following:

"Mr. Horne, I realize that your position in this fair community pretty well guarantees venality, insincerity, and a rather irritating method of expressing yourself. Stupidity, however, is not necessarily a inherent trait, therefore, please listen closely. You can have a funeral any old time. You dig a hole, you plant a coffin. I, however, cannot perform these tests next year, next month, next week or tomorrow - I must perform them now. I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so why don't you please return to your porch rockers and resume whittling. "

It's too bad that all that TWIN PEAKS season 3 talk ended up being hogwash, because I dearly would have loved to see Miguel Ferrer come back as Albert Rosenfield and do his snobbish thing.  Anyway, let's get back on topic–


#3.  Poor man's Audrey Horne.

Continuing the TWIN PEAKS-ian chain of logic, I must note that the female lead here, Julie Entwhistle, is sort of a poor man's Audrey Horne, as depicted by these conveniently chosen screenshots.

 Julie Entwhistle inside a closet.


 Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) inside a closet.

 The role she's playing (as an occasional victim and occasional foil) is not present in the original short story, but I get that they wanted to add some more female characters.  Also of note is that Julie Entwhistle only ever appeared in one other film (as "Student" in IN AND OUT) which was also in 1997.  Weird.


#4. Stephen King references galore.

This is truly for the SK nerds out there.  At one point, Julie Entwhistle's character is looking at a wall of old, framed INSIDE VIEW covers.  Each of them, only on screen for a few seconds, references a different Stephen King novel or short story:


"Satanic Shopkeeper Sells Gory Goodies"  = NEEDFUL THINGS  and "Naked Demons Leveled My Lawn"  = THE LAWNMOWER MAN


"The Ultimate Killer Diet!  Gypsy Curse Flayed at Lawyer's Flesh!"  = THINNER


"Headless Lamaze Leads to Successful Birth"  = THE BREATHING METHOD and "Springfield Jack Strikes Again" = STRAWBERRY SPRING

There's also "Kiddie Cultists in Kansas Worship Creepy Voodoo God!" in reference to CHILDREN OF THE CORN.  Furthermore, at one point, Ferrer's character discusses a school teacher who murdered some demonic five-year-olds (a reference to the Bradbury-esque King short, "Suffer the Little Children"), and he visits an airfield in Derry, Maine (the home of IT and INSOMNIA).

Finally, he visits Wilmington, North Carolina, which has now become the filmic equivalent of Derry or Castle Rock, Maine for Stephen King adaptations ever since CAT'S EYE, FIRESTARTER, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, and SILVER BULLET were filmed there, thanks to Dino de Laurentiis' studio being located in Wilmington.  So, whew.  I hope that's enough Stephen King references for you.


#5.  Expressionistic flourish.


There's a terrific black and white sequence that takes a little from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and tonally prefigures THE MIST!


#6.  Practical effects.

The legendary Berger, Kurtzman, and Nicotero are on the job (see some of their credits above), and they're having a helluva lotta fun.  I'm obviously not going to show you the best stuff, or the monster himself– you'll have to see the movie for that.  But let's take a moment to salute practical effects in THE NIGHT FLIER, which, in 1997, could have easily been replaced by terrible TV-worthy CGI.


#7.  A vampire that orders a Bloody Mary.

As he hunts the vampire, Ferrer receives several warnings to cease and desist his investigation.   My favorite comes in a local bar when a shadowy man orders him a drink and disappears.  The drink, obviously, is a Bloody Mary and the napkin has a message in red marker:  "STOP NOW."  A:  I love that the vampire actually ordered a Bloody Mary, because, of course.  B:  I love that the vampire was considerate enough to buy Ferrer a drink.  I mean, he could've just dropped the napkin on his lap or something.


#8.  The reveal of the vampire.  (I'm going to remain relatively spoiler-free here, and I'm definitely not going to spoil what the vampire looks like, despite the fact that it's an amazingly well-done makeup effect and has already been plastered all over the DVD case and the disc art and the menu screens and most of the posters.)

The first part is copied, nearly verbatim, from the short story– a wonderfully suspenseful scene where our hero sees a stream of blood flowing from an invisible source into a urinal, reflected in a bathroom mirror.


The inability to turn around and see the actual creature builds a kind of dreamlike tension that reaches a minor state of perfection. [ Also, this begs the question, is the vampire from the "popped-collar zone?"  (See #3 in my DEAD ZONE review.)]

Anyway, the film nails the final moments of the short story, and then continues for a few minutes more, straight into TALES OF THE CRYPT/TWILIGHT ZONE-style coda.  Though I thought the short story ended perfectly, I don't really mind the extension here– I mean, this is a story about a Cessna-piloting vampire– the filmmakers should be able to take a few liberties now and again.

YAHHHHHHH

Four stars.

–Sean Gill

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