Only now does it occur to me... CANNERY ROW

Only now does it occur to me...  that if you've been wondering all this time what a Nick Nolte Indiana Jones would have looked like (Nolte notably passed on the roles of Han Solo in STAR WARS and Jones in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK), then you need look no further than this freeze frame from the John Steinbeck adaptation, CANNERY ROW:

As for the film itself, despite nice turns from Nolte, Debra Winger, and M. Emmett Walsh, it fails to capture the ever-amusing humanism of the novel (and its sequel SWEET THURSDAY) ...and is fairly unwatchable.

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Only now does it occur to me... WINTER KILLS

Only now does it occur to me...  that Sterling Hayden's beard could conquer the world.



Hell, I didn't even know he ever had a beard.

WINTER KILLS is a kinda lukewarm conspiracy thriller/comedy from the 1970s that's peppered with insane old Hollywood and character actor cameos.  But even in a film that has Junta Juleil faves like Jeff Bridges, John Huston, Anthony Perkins, Ralph Meeker, Elizabeth Taylor, Eli Wallach, M. Emmet Walsh, Richard Boone, Dorothy Malone, and Joe Spinell, Sterling Hayden and his beard reign supreme.  He shows up (riding around with a complement of tanks), chases Jeff Bridges (who's in a car), exchanges some harsh words with him, gives him a 10 second head start, and then commences to fire shells at him as he zooms away.  The scene lasts under five minutes and doesn't really advance the plot, but damn, I loved it.  I can't truly recommend the film; despite being filled with these kinds of interesting curios and diversions, the sum is decidedly less than the parts.  Plus, it feels a little long.  Not Hayden's beard, that is– the film.  Hayden's beard is "just right."  Here, I'll let you look at it again as you leave:

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Film Review: THE GLASS SHIELD (1994, Charles Burnett)

Stars: 3.8 of 5.
Running Time: 109 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Michael Boatman (CELEBRITY MOLE HAWAII, HAMBURGER HILL), Lori Petty (POINT BREAK, TANK GIRL), Ice Cube (GHOSTS OF MARS, THREE KINGS), Bernie Casey (IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, SHARKY'S MACHINE), Richard Anderson (THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, FORBIDDEN PLANET), Michael Ironside (TOTAL RECALL, EXTREME PREJUDICE), M. Emmett Walsh (BLOOD SIMPLE, STRAIGHT TIME), Erich Anderson (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV, MISSING IN ACTION), Wanda de Jesus (BLOOD WORK, THE INSIDER), Don Harvey (CREEPSHOW 2, DIE HARD 2), Tommy Redmond Hicks (SHE'S GOTTA HAVE IT, JOE'S BED-STUY BARBERSHOP). Cinematography by Elliot Davis (SHAKES THE CLOWN, OUT OF SIGHT).
Tag-line: "In a world filled with violence... his only weapon is the truth!"
Best one-liner: "Puttin' in a little overtime, Fields?" (malevolently uttered by Michael Ironside)

Charles Burnett is one of America's greatest, most underrated independent filmmakers. His film KILLER OF SHEEP has recently undergone a critical rediscovery, and his masterpiece, TO SLEEP WITH ANGER, is a work of great power and possibly the finest entry in the "houseguest from hell" subgenre. Seriously, I can't recommend TO SLEEP WITH ANGER enough– it weaves FAUST, Southern folklore, realistic family dynamics, and Danny Glover's finest, most devilish performance into a corn-whisky-stained tapestry of down-home tension (with frequent humor!). Not available on DVD, I was able to finally see TO SLEEP WITH ANGER at the Museum of Modern Art's (in NYC) retrospective of Burnett's work. So rent the VHS, because it's worth it.

Anyway, that leads me to my next point. After ANGER failed to achieve the financial success that it deserved, Burnett decided to try something a little more commercial. Enter THE GLASS SHIELD. A muck-raking, Southern Cali true-crime tract in the mode that would define such later films as L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, TRAINING DAY, and DARK BLUE, THE GLASS SHIELD tells the tale of a black rookie cop who discovers terrifying levels of corruption in the Sheriff's office where he's been assigned. Marketed as an Ice Cube vehicle (which it's really not), it's a crime drama packed with talented character actors... including Michael Ironside. And so, a fan of Burnett's, I swung by the Museum of Modern Art once more- to see a Michael Ironside movie at the MOMA. It was truly a momentous occasion, and I don't foresee it happening again, at least until MOMA does a HIGHLANDER retrospective (fingers crossed).

On the whole, THE GLASS SHIELD isn't quite as hard-hitting as it wants to be, but it's still quite an enjoyable film. We've got Michael Boatman as the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed recent academy graduate who's about to enter a racially-charged quagmire of dirty cops and dirtier D.A.'s where no one can emerge unsullied.


As the corrupt buddy-detectives, we have M. Emmet Walsh

and Michael Ironside.

Seeing these two giants of character acting playing evil buddies truly warmed my heart. Walsh is a terminally ill good-ole boy wanting to provide for his family. He plays it with that standard 'goobery Walsh élan' which the man is well-known for. Ironside fans will find a lot to like as well: we see him holdin' a baby, making a ship in a bottle, saying "about" in such a manner that betrays his Canadian origins, and headlining his own bowling team called the 'Rough Riders.'

MICHAEL IRONSIDE IS KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU

As a team, Walsh and Ironside make a pretty fantastic, villainous peanut gallery, and, as a mind-blowing coup de grâce of things one should never see, Michael Ironside and M. Emmett Walsh share a make-out session. Well, actually, that's something of a lie: Michael Ironside performs CPR on M. Emmett Walsh, but you have to admit it sounds a little more newsworthy when I phrase it the other way. Anyways...

Then we got that staple of the early 90's: Lori Petty playing Lori Petty... that is to say a misfit, no-nonsense, spunky l'il lady with a short haircut.

I have to mention that she and Michael Ironside also co-starred in 1993's FREE WILLY, and he chose her to star in the only movie he's ever directed, 1999's THE ARRANGEMENT. They had to have been buddies. I like to imagine Lori Petty in a redneck bar, perhaps uttering something smart-assed and offensive, drawing the ire of like a dozen lead-pipe-wrench-slinging guys in Confederate flag bandanas. They circle her and chuckle, nefariously. Then Ironside shows up and starts beating the hell out of them as Lori Petty gulps purloined Black Label, straight from the tap. If somebody wants to turn this into a buddy movie, I will gladly pay to see it.

Then there's Ice Cube as a fall guy. Mr. Cube brings some genuine pathos to the role- as films like THREE KINGS and even GHOSTS OF MARS have indicated, he's got some acting chops and an innate likability even when he's playing sort of unlikable characters.

On the right there is Don Harvey as a redunkulously racist, simple-minded cop. You may remember him as the Kevin Bacon-meets-Peter Weller villainous sidekick from "Ol' Chief Woodenhead" in CREEPSHOW 2.

Then there's some nice, featured-supporting turns for Elliott Gould (as a crime victim...or is he?), Bernie Casey (as a severe defense attorney), Sy Richardson (as Ice Cube's father-in-law), Tommy Redmond Hicks (as a crusading preacher), and Richard Anderson (as the corrupt police chief). The cinematography by Elliot Davis is moody, shadowy, and possessing a deep, rich color palette. Also of note is Stephen James Taylor's minimalist score, full of ominous tones and disquieting screeches.

There are some scenes that ring rather false, and there's use of that old standby corrupt cop movie cliché "Dont...trust...anybody," but on the whole, it's entertainment + muck-raking in a tight, well-constructed package. I have no problem giving it nearly four stars.

-Sean Gill

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Film Review: WHITE SANDS (1992, Roger Donaldson)

Stars: 3 of 5.

Running Time: 101 minutes.

Notable Cast or Crew: Directed by Roger Donaldson (COCKTAIL, SPECIES, THIRTEEN DAYS). Starring Willem Dafoe, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (SCARFACE, THE ABYSS), M. Emmet Walsh (BLOOD SIMPLE, STRAIGHT TIME), John P. Ryan (CLASS OF 1999, FATAL BEAUTY, THE COTTON CLUB), Miguel Sandoval (JURASSIC PARK, REPO MAN), Maura Tierney (ER, SCOTLAND PA), Royce D. Applegate (Rev. Brocklehurst on TWIN PEAKS, UNDER SIEGE 2), and cameos by Mimi Rogers (WEDLOCK, THE RAPTURE) and (failed presidential candidate) Fred Dalton Thompson.

Tag-line: "The most dangerous way to solve a murder... become the victim."

Best one-liner: "I've never met anyone like you...you're honest...even when you're lying."

WHITE SANDS is a mediocre conspiracy thriller in the mold of countless others, but it remains watchable because it's packed to the gills with talented and eclectic performers. Frequently, it's a complete rip-off of the underrated, underseen FLASHPOINT (1984): from the Tangerine Dream-y score to the desert discovery of a mysterious body with a shitload of cash to Kurtwood Smith's monologue about how sedition, chaos, and crime are the lifeblood of the government (here delivered by Mickey Rourke)- it's really quite shameless. Regardless, Willem Dafoe plays a cop whose suburban New Mexican existence is so insipid that he decides to impersonate the dead man on a whim, kind of just to see what happens.

Dafoe, as directed by Roger Donaldson (COCKTAIL, SPECIES) is pretty restrained, but there are a few fantastic moments which creep through- mainly Dafoe's childlike excitement at going undercover. There's a whirlwind of excitable eyebrow action, and his cheerful naïveté ("I can be a Bob!") is truly something to behold.

This is the most exciting moment of his life. But the tables soon turn- he becomes a victim of clothes-slashing lesbians:

Willem Dafoe: brutalized by lesbians.

makes the acquaintance of slippery (uncredited) arms dealer John P. Ryan:

John P. Ryan: once again, underappreciated. See also: my review of FATAL BEAUTY.

begins a war of wills with intense FBI man Sam Jackson:

Hold on to your butts

and begins a whirling dance of death (on eggshells) with enigmatic malfeasant Rourke (who is always compelling, even when phoning it in- as is proved here):

Mickey Rourke: smug, because he thinks he just swindled the producers for a paycheck by 'phoning it in,' when in reality, he couldn't help but deliver an intricate, multi-faceted performance.

We've got some 90's neo-noir action with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio ("You're not the kind of woman I'd expect to see in a rodeo." –"I'm not the kind of woman you'd expect." GROAAAAN); a healthy dollop of skeezy n' sleazy

M. Emmet Walsh in a bolo tie (is there any other kind?); and bit parts for everyone from Maura Tierney to Miguel Sandoval:

'Why does everyone forget that I was in JURASSIC PARK?'

to that guy (Royce P. Applegate) from the DIFF'RENT STROKES kidnapping episode ("I will kill your parents, Sam"). They even manage to work in a Dafoe shower scene which lends credence to my theory that Dafoe might actually be naked more often than Keitel.

Three (ensemble-cast) stars.

-Sean Gill

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