Only now does it occur to me... THELMA AND LOUISE

Only now does it occur to me...  that the highlight of THELMA AND LOUISE is not when they drive off the cliff together, nor is when they blow up the tanker–

 

 

(although, now that I mention it, it miiight be when they blow up the tanker...)

but in fact it is the subtle pleasure of watching Harvey Keitel beat Brad Pitt about the head and neck...

 

 

 

...with his own cowboy hat.

THWACK

THWACKK

THWACCCCCKK!

As I say, it's a subtle joy, and one that's amplified by the fact that Keitel isn't really given that much to do in this movie otherwise.  Though I suppose it's more than pleasant to see him exchange Geena-Davis-and-Susan-Sarandon-hunting strategies with the legendary Stephen "Ned Ryerson" Toblowsky.

  

As I said, it's the little things.  Also– I must say that THELMA AND LOUISE makes a fine "homoerotic, adrenaline-fueled summer movies of 1991" double-feature with POINT BREAK. 

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Film Review: DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)

Stars: 3.4 of 5.
Running Time: 90 minutes.
Tag-line: "A comedy about an experiment that got WAY OUT of control!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Tim Daly (DINER, STORM OF THE CENTURY), Sean Young (BLADE RUNNER, WALL STREET), Lysette Anthony (SAVE ME, KRULL), Harvey Fierstein (MRS. DOUBTFIRE, TORCH SONG TRILOGY), Jeremy Piven (ELLEN, ENTOURAGE), Stephen Tobolowsky (WEDLOCK, GROUNDHOG DAY), Polly Bergen (CAPE FEAR '62, CRY-BABY).
Best one-liner: "Who would've thought that if another woman came between me and Sarah, that it would be me!"

This movie is pretty damn zany and you know how I feel about movies that get too zany, but let me tell you- this is DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE. [Not to be confused with Hammer's DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE, the ramshackle 70's softcore THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL AND HYDE, or the community theater chestnut, DR. JEKYLL... PLEASE DON'T HYDE.] I first discovered this film during a VHS hunt which I outlined here.

A lot of the draw here, for me at least, is Sean Young. Sean Young is sort of the female Gary Busey. Now she doesn't have a lot of the conspicuous indicators that Gary does (ginormous teeth, a penchant for turning regular words into loopy, meaning-rich acronyms, a propensity for calling people 'butt-horns'), but make no mistake- like Busey, she's wildly talented and more than a little loco. And I say that with a lot of affection. I, for one, am with her 100% in heckling Julian Schnabel or in storming the Warner Brothers backlot- in costume- in a bid to be cast as Catwoman in BATMAN RETURNS.

Now, she's certainly not at her "best" here (who could be?), but she brings enough to the role that you're left wondering if perhaps Sean Young exists as the 'last man standing' in a real life internal-gender-battle-of-wills similar to the one depicted within the hallowed reels of DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE.

Sean Young smokes defiantly in a laboratory.

If you couldn't predict the plot from the title, it goes a little something like this: perfume scientist Dr. Richard Jacks (Tim Daly) inherits some old science manuals from a relative, who was the real-life Dr. Jekyll.


The ancestral Hyde.

In an attempt to compensate for the aggressive behavior of the unfortunate Mr. Hyde, he ups the estrogen levels, and *voila* we're entreated to Sean Young as 'Helen Hyde.' While this immediately leads only to a credit-card swiping high-fashion shopping montage, events quickly become much more complex.


The quintessential 90's shopping montage.

Problems with a fianceé (SAVE ME's Lysette Anthony), upper-echelon corporate politics, and increasingly sociopathic (but not altogether unpredictable) behavior on the part of Ms. Hyde lead to a variety of comic situations, many of which muster groans, but quite a few of which elicited appreciative applause and warm feelings of good cheer, not unlike the A*P*E's reaction to hang-gliding (which was pontificated upon by this site not too long ago).

On to the writing–
Now we know there's going to be A., a set-up:

i.e., the big transformation from male scientist to femme fatale alter-ego, and, B., a big finale: i.e., a spit-take inducing reveal to everyone that Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde are one and the same. The writers (of which SIX are credited!- including Robert Louis Stevenson) merely had to take us from point A to B in a manner which was not entirely nescient, and in this endeavor, they did not disappoint. Oh wait, yes they did.

I consider this an "Oh boy" movie. An "Oh boy" movie is a one during which I am frequently seen to be raising an eyebrow and uttering "Ohhhhhhh boy" in a blend of mild bemusement and profound disgust. It must also be mentioned that some of my favorite movies are "Oh boy" movies.

Exposition is rammed down our throats via line-readings ("You're a successful architect and I'm a failure!" –"No, you're not, you were the youngest chemist ever hired by..."). We are entreated to whacky moments such as the following-

Aunt Agatha is such a nutball- she mistook a stuffed bear for Dr. Jacks!


"I'm not a Jacks- I'm a Jekyll!"


A depiction of a DNA molecule straight out of THE LAWNMOWER MAN.


"Who would've thought that if another woman came between me and Sarah, that it would be me!"


"I'm a genius! ...What am I talking about?!– I'm gonna be a DEAD genius!"


Stephen Tobolowsky (Ned Ryerson from GROUNDHOG DAY) and Harvey Fierstein as a couple of dunderheaded executives.


Sean Young is so irresistable that she brings Fierstein back into the heterosexual fold-


"What am I paying you for? 20 years in therapy and I start liking girls? That's malpractice!"

But in a strange twist of events, Tobolowsky- known for his scenery-gorging performances- gives an extremely muted, complex portrait of a man coming to grips with his own place in the world.

"Lover lips is here!"

I think I neglected to mention that most of this is set to jammin' instrumentals that are so goddamned peppy that they make C + C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" seem like a funeral dirge by comparison.

Anyway, onto that spit-take inducing finale I was talking about. And I wasn't kidding– before you can say "It's your going away party, bitch!," the true nature of the experiment is revealed,

and we get not one,

POOOT–

not two,

PFF-

not three,

PFFFFFFFFFFF-

but FOUR

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!

spit-take reaction shots. That's three more than I expected. And for that, DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE, you deserve just about three and a half stars. And as I make that statement, I fully expect the coffin of Robert Louis Stevenson to pop up in Antarctica or Paraguay or something, because his grave's probably spinning at such a velocity that it's bored a hole through the Earth's core.

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. ...

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Film Review: WEDLOCK (1991, Lewis Teague)

Stars: 4.1 of 5.
Running Time: 101 minutes.
Tag-line: "Trapped in a prison of the future. Betrayed by a woman of his past. Frank Warren is wired to explode."
Notable Cast or Crew: Rutger Hauer, Mimi Rogers, James Remar, Joan Chen (TWIN PEAKS, THE LAST EMPEROR), Stephen Tobolowsky (GROUNDHOG DAY, DEADWOOD), O-Lan Jones (EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, MIRACLE MILE), Danny Trejo, Grand L. Bush (LETHAL WEAPON, FREEJACK). Written by Broderick Miller (who basically rewrote it as a subpar TV movie called DEADLOCKED: ESCAPE FROM ZONE 14 in 1995). Directed by the underrated Lewis Teague (CUJO, CAT'S EYE, ALLIGATOR). Costumes by Stephen M. Chudej (TAPEHEADS, RAISING ARIZONA, SHAKES THE CLOWN).
Best one-liner: "You non-conformists are all alike."
AKA: DEADLOCK.

Oh boy...now we're talkin' WEDLOCK. I'm a sucker for movies with necklace bombs. I've an even bigger sucker for movies with necklace bombs where Rutger Hauer exclaims "Jesus Christ!"

and then James Remar pops out of the shadows with a smoking gun, smarmily retorting, "No– but I'm flattered by the comparison," as Joan Chen cackles with fiendish malevolence.


Let's go down the list: 80's lightning FX? Check. Danny Trejo in a bit part as a prisoner?

Check. Exploding heads? Brutal ball-squeezing? A dude with a funky earring (like Ozone's in BREAKIN' 2) urinating on Rutger while he's in a sensory deprivation tank?


What is this, a Castellari movie?

Check, check, and double-check.

The main thrust is that 'good guy' thief Rutger takes the fall because of a double-crossin' fiancée Joan Chen (Josie on TWIN PEAKS) and ex-jewel-theivin' buddy Remar.

Rutger ends up in a futuristic, multi-gender, no smoking prison run by ruthless warden Stephen Tobolowsky (the obnoxious Ned Ryerson from GROUNDHOG DAY- bing!) and can only escape by remaining within 100 yards of his necklace bomb 'wedlock' partner, Mimi Rogers– who, by the way, he CAN'T STAND!

"Oh, nooo- you're my wedlock partner?"


See you in the funny pages

Now if that doesn't sound like movie gold to you, I don't even want to hear it- just get the hell outta here right now.

For the rest of you- here eleven reasons why WEDLOCK is well worth the commitment:

#1. Rutger, Joan, and Remar in Russian priest disguises. Is this why Rutger inexplicably has the same costume in SURVIVING THE GAME in '94?

Did he manage to sneak it off the set and into his personal collection? Did he figure three years was long enough for the producers of WEDLOCK to forget that his costume mysteriously went missing at the end of the shoot, and that they wouldn't put two and two together? How often does he wear it at home as lounging attire? Did James Remar keep his, too?

Is it only a matter of time before it ends up on an episode of DEXTER? So many unanswered questions.

#2. O-Lan Jones cameo as the proprietor of a store called "Astral Dreams." Welcome to the future.

#3. Warden Tobolowsky tooling around at times in a smoking jacket and sipping on girl drinks.



#4. These sunglasses. It's not that they're particularly 'over-the-top' or remarkable– they're just right.


#5. Rutger's continued flourishes of swordplay. It's not the Middle Ages (LADYHAWKE, FLESH + BLOOD), it's not essential to the plot (BLIND FURY), but by gum, we can fit some in anyway.

Touché!

#6. "So wait, when should we say this thing is set?" –"The future." "Naww, we gotta be more specific than that."


#7. The simple joy of enjoying tasty cold cuts after getting pissed on in the sensory deprivation tank is something I think we all can actually relate to.


#8. Rutger tooling around in THE most ridiculous southwestern rainbow fleece jacket/poncho, ever.

Which, naturally, leads to steamy, back-of-truck poncho sex:


I'm not sure what the concept was exactly, but I like it. Here's another picture of the macabre fleece:

Credit belongs to costume designer Stephen M. Chudej, who boldly chose to depict the future as not being populated by people in leather and burlap sacks (i.e., MAD MAX, SOLDIER, BLOOD OF HEROES, etc., etc.), but closer to the concepts of 'Medieval Turkish Dance Party," and "Rainbow-flavored Southwestern Mountain-Climbing Swishery." Highest marks.


#9. Try this theoretical question on for size: What if GROUNDHOG DAY starred James Remar instead of Bill Murray, and instead of being a quirky, pseudo-sci-fi holiday comedy, it was a straight-to-video, quirky sci-fi actioner?



#10. The "smash 'em if you got 'em" rule of intricate 80's cakes still applies, as always.

#11. The endless, increasingly insane situations the collars present to our heroes– from elevators to slomo cliff leaps to getting on the wrong bus, it's never less than a damn good time.

In closing- a little more than four stars. If it were made today, it'd be inundated by bad CGI, WB network has-beens, and maybe a washed up pro-wrestler or two– if we were lucky. It's a testament to the raucous genre filmmaking of Lewis Teague, the slick quintet of leads (Hauer, Rogers, Remar, Chen, Tobolowsky), and the colorful costume choices of Mr. Chudej that this thing is able to succeed at bein' a rip-snortin' wild ride. Pass the Schlitz.

-Sean Gill

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