Only now does it occur to me... SCREAM 2

Only now does it occur to me...  okay, four quick things.

#1.  During an incredibly self-reflexive (and occasionally eye-rolling) Kevin Williamson-penned scene about horror movie sequels, HOUSE II: THE SECOND STORY actually gets mentioned as a sequel that improved on the original.  This is followed by a series of well-deserved groans.  


 
As an aficionado of the HOUSE franchise (though not specifically the second installment) this still makes me pretty happy.

#2.  Apparently the briefly-glimpsed scenes of "STAB"– the fictitious film-within-a-film which adapts the events from the first SCREAM– were guest-directed by Robert Rodriguez, who was working concurrently on THE FACULTY, another Williamson-written horror flick.

 Heather Graham is standing in for Drew Barrymore, and it looks like Rodriguez had some fun with a couple of Hitchock homages.  In all, not too spectacular, but just the sort of footnote-worthy curiosity this column's all about.

#3.  David Warner! 

Genre legend and Junta Juleil Hall-O–Famer David Warner (THE OMEN, WAXWORK, BODY BAGS, IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, TALES FROM THE CRYPT, TWIN PEAKS, MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE, TRON, TIME BANDITS) shows up for one brief scene as Neve Campbell's college drama professor, whose productions look something like this:

He doesn't have much screen time, but it's definitely a welcome surprise.

#4.  The soundtrack from BROKEN ARROW.

This is a real head-scratcher.  Off and on, throughout the entire duration of SCREAM 2, excerpts from Hans Zimmer's soundtrack to BROKEN ARROW can be heard.  And the movie already has a soundtrack, composed by two-time Oscar nominee Marco Beltrami!  Now, I've probably seen BROKEN ARROW way more than the average moviegoer, but it's a fairly distinctive soundtrack and as such, when the action theme is playing, I'm imagining John Travolta laughing maniacally and Christian Slater running around willy-nilly, but instead I'm looking at Ghostface stalking a victim.  When the love theme plays, I'm visualizing the Slater Factor making out with Samantha Mathis, but then I'm seeing Courtney Cox and David Arquette on the screen in front of me.  The whole thing is pretty discombobulating.  Was Wes Craven a big John Woo fan?  Did Miramax accidentally buy the rights to the soundtrack and then insist that it be used?  Is it fodder for some kind of composer's rivalry between Zimmer and Beltrami?  It's jarring to me in 2013 as a bona fide BROKEN ARROW fan, but back in '97 a whole hell of a lot of people would have just seen BROKEN ARROW, which came out the year previous, thus increasing it's chances of being recognized.  Regardless: it's strange.

Anyway, SCREAM 2 is a pretty fun slasher that doesn't take itself too seriously– it's not as good as the original, but I was sort of surprised at how well it held up, some sixteen years later.

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Film Review: ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO (2003, Robert Rodriguez)

Stars: 4.5 of 5.
Running Time: 102 minutes.
Tag-line: "The Time Has Come."
Notable Cast or Crew: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Willem Dafoe, Johnny Depp, Mickey Rourke, Eva Mendes, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Rubén Blades, Enrique Iglesias, Marco Leonardi.
Best one-liner: "Ok. Smoke him... Smoke the fucker! Send him straight to fucking Broadway."

Rodriguez's continued retellings of his "Sergio Leone by-way-of Walter Hill and John Woo" EL MARIACHI legend are like a monstrous, runaway snowball. And as it rolls downhill, it increases in speed, size, ludicrousity, and finally, by ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, it's a completely deranged, rampaging behemoth full of eclectic actors, jaw-dropping setpieces, and a tangible joie de vivre that its contemporaries truly lack.




Here's 10 reasons why ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO rises above the muck of your typical 00's action flick and is worthy of your time:

#1. Some movies will, at times, splash a little blood or water on the lens. I think it's meant to amplify the grittiness, but for me it intensifies the disconnect- 'I'm watching a movie.' Rodriguez goes a step further: during a desert dirt bike chase, some cacti get blasted and the lens is spattered with cactus juice, which I have no choice but to wholeheartedly support.


#2. Mickey Rourke (and his l'il doggie). Now this is 21st Century Rourke (fossilized skin, gravelly voice, and every third word is "goddamn") at his finest.

His purple suits are not costumes- they're from his personal wardrobe. He exudes actual pathos, and in the course of a few brief scenes builds a relationship with his little chihuahua buddy that's more genuine and touching than anything from a weepie picture.

#3. Depp and his kitschy accoutrements.

From a CLASH OF THE TITANS lunchbox to an 'I'm With Stupid' t-shirt to the fanny packs, the fake 'staches, and the shorts n' blazer combo, Depp's attire is a testament to the inspired lunacy of the man himself.

Only on set for a few days, Depp hand-picked his own wardrobe from the festering aisles of tacky, border-town thrift shops and proceeded to unleash a hurricane of loopy, Brando-style improvisation, supposedly inspired by an anonymous, eccentric Hollywood mover and shaker who Depp always imagined "wore really cheesy tourist shirts, had a sideline obsession with Broadway, and favored strange, obvious disguises."

The end result is nothing short of astonishing, and 'Agent Sands' surely belongs on the short list of great characters in contemporary action cinema.

#4. Banderas' brutal double low-blow, worthy of Leo Fong. You'll know it when you see it.



Banderas' look says it all: he takes brutal ball-squeezing very seriously.

I'm sad to say, however, that the duration still compares unfavorably to THE EVIL THAT MEN DO.

#5. Willem Dafoe.

Scary with a mustache. Scary in silk shirts. Scary behind bandages. So scary, even Danny Trejo has got the heebie-jeebies, which is really saying something. Hell, he's even freaking out his döppelganger.

It's nearly a throwaway role- one in a parade of villainous entities- but we all know that Dafoe doesn't require a majority of screen-time to be terrifying as all get out.

WILLEM DAFOE WILL STARE INTO YOUR SOUL

#6. This camera angle.

Sometime between the ribaldry of classic 70's action cinema (BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, ROLLING THUNDER, et al.) and the present day, Hollywood moved from "gritty South American hooker in a smoke den with peeling paint" sleaze to "corporate, collagen, plasticine, air-brushed to oblivion" sleaze. And, frankly, I find the latter kind of disturbing. Regardless, while Eva Mendes certainly wouldn't belong in a Peckinpah flick, this camera-angle, and what it represents- an unrepentant, 'let's-call-a-spade-a-spade' style of bawdiness– is refreshing.

#7. "Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?"


#8. Cheech Marin.

Well, he missed out on the first EL MARIACHI movie, so I suppose he tried to make up for it by subsequently playing seven roles in seven Rodriguez flicks- a feat more impressive than it sounds, given that 5 of those films belong to ongoing series (3 SPY KIDS and 2 EL MARIACHI films). Here, he's amusingly long-winded and has got an eye patch, and that's really all you need to know.

#9. Rubén Blades. He's not the flashiest performer here. He's not an ex-con like Danny Trejo, a funnyman like Cheech Marin, a pop star like Enrique Iglesias, or a petrified, walking cautionary tale like Mickey Rourke.

He's low-key. He's convincing. And Rodriguez outfits him with a story arc that's well worth our time. In a film that's a whirling vortex of over-the-top yarns, off-kilter character actors, and reeling action set-pieces, Blades is that grounding dose of subtlety that really ties it all together.

#10. The finale: an eyeless gunslinger who makes Zatoichi look like Mr. Magoo, Banderas surfing down a staircase on his guitar, PREDATOR 2 references, and endless one-liners- life is good.


Nearly five stars. And while I surely wouldn't say no to a fourth EL MARIACHI flick, I'm not sure how Rodriguez could possibly escalate upon the bedlam contained herein without it collapsing under its own weight...

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. TOP GUN (1986, Tony Scott)
17. 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)
18. ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO (2003, Robert Rodriguez)
19. ...

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Film Review: THE FACULTY (1998, Robert Rodriguez)

Stars: 3.75 of 5.
Running Time: 104 minutes.
Tag-line: "Six students are about to find out their teachers really are from another planet."
Notable Cast or Crew: Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, Robert Patrick, Clea DuVall, Laura Harris, Jordana Brewster, Shawn Hatosy, Salma Hayek, Famke Janssen, Piper Laurie, Christopher McDonald, Bebe Neuwirth, Usher Raymond, Jon Stewart, Daniel von Bargen, Summer Phoenix. Music by Marco Beltrami (THE HURT LOCKER, 3:10 TO YUMA). Written by Kevin Williamson (SCREAM, DAWSON'S CREEK).
Best one-liner: "Body Snatchers is a story somebody made up, dingus. It's located in the fiction section of the library." –"Yeah, so is Schindler's List." Whewww.

Well, so far this week I've discussed a few terrific films from what I'll call the "Golden Era of Horror/Sci-Fi Remakes (1978-1988)," so now it seems only proper to look at one from a little further down the line. THE FACULTY. This film is packed to the brim with things that I should hate- marketable young stars, jaw-droppingly pathetic CGI, and a self-reflexivity that's at best, bratty, and at worst, dangerous. (Dangerous in terms of what the 'Kevin Williamson model' would go on to inspire- and I feel like it's leaked out of 90's horror films and into 00's-10's corporate culture- I see so many advertisements and commercials these days possessing the "this is so bad but aren't we so clever for making it so bad *wink wink wink wink*" and the "if we acknowledge that it's bad, then we take the wind out of the sails of any actual criticism" aesthetic.)

A picture of Kevin Williamson.

Despite it all, however, THE FACULTY is a fairly likable movie. John Carpenter was a master craftsman, and, I daresay one of the cinema's best storytellers in the past twenty-five years. Howard Hawks was his hero, and you can feel Hawks' power coursing through Carpy's veins. Robert Rodriguez is cut from the same cloth, except for the fact that he worships Carpy. (At the tender age of thirteen, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK inspired him to become a filmmaker.) And though Rodriguez's films can be absolutely kickass (though just as often can be exceedingly dopey), one can plainly see that some of the secrets of the masters are being lost in the 'trickle down,' as it were. The qualities, however, that intercede on occasion to save Rodriguez (and, to some extent, THE FACULTY) include his natural proclivity toward visceral, immersive editing (he almost exclusively edits his own pictures) and his unwavering dedication toward over-the-top imagery. (I must say that his wholehearted embracement of CGI disgusts me, but in the majority of his films, he does exercise at least some degree of restraint.) Regardless, on to the film:

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have watched THE FACULTY on multiple occasions, I have derived enjoyment from the experience, and I plan, one day, to watch it again. I could plead ignorance, but I know better. I love THE THING '82, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS '78, all of which THE FACULTY shamelessly rips off and then pretends that it's okay because there's a wink and a nod and a slick post-modernism. There's CGI so embarrassingly substandard that it borders on blasphemy. It's a rare special effect, indeed, which is so poor that you find yourself reaching for the cat o' nine tails so that you may flog yourself for daring to enjoy the movie which contained it, but THE FACULTY contains several such effects.

UH


How bout some groan-inducing homage to THE THING?


And as a side note, who do we blame for this cringeworthy (freeze frame/character name) 90's (and beyond) storytelling device? Do we blame Sergio Leone? He couldn't have known what it would come to...


And why they gotta do a 90's teen spin on the blood test scene from THE THING??

Then there's the matter of Alice Cooper's classic "I'm Eighteen" being limply covered by Creed. Perhaps the less said, the better, but it would seem that the hard rockin' gods are just as offended as the sci-fi actioner gods. And even John Hughes is pissed because (excluding Laura Harris' Southern-fried transfer student) the final survivors are THE EXACT SAME ARCHETYPES AS THE BREAKFAST CLUB.

What a weirdo

Of course, one could make the argument that these 'sins' I've outlined are some of the film's strengths, but allow me to tell where the film's assets truly lie- the title. Or, to be more specific: the title characters.

Infected by slug-like parasites from space, Robert Patrick is peppy, cheerful, and absolutely out of his fucking gourd. He's having more fun than the rest of the cast combined.


This is the kind of part he was born to play, so why the hell didn't he have more juicy, high-profile roles of this caliber?! (Well, I guess there's always COP LAND and THE DIG.) Not to be outdone, Piper Laurie's ready, able, and willing to kick it up a notch. At one point, she even gets a dated, silly SCARY-JUMP-CUT-ZOOM:


Rounding it out are a zany Jon Stewart (who makes one final appearance that's worth staying for the end credits):

a deranged, drunken Daniel von Bargen; and a glassy-eyed, spine-chilling Bebe Neuwirth.

So....almost four stars (I guess)... may my penance commence.

-Sean Gill

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