Only now does it occur to me... ARGO

Only now does it occur to me...  THAT ADRIENNE BARBEAU HAS NOW APPEARED IN A FILM THAT WON THE ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST PICTURE.  

Of course, I would've been happier if it was THE FOG or CREEPSHOW or ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, but hey, it's still something I never figured would happen.  She still looks great, too, as "Serski the Galatic Witch" in the fake film-within-the-film, ARGO.

Also, the film gets a few bonus points for having a blue Chewbacca (Bluebacca?),

 who I'm going to go ahead and pretend is actually Chewie's relative from all that Life Day nonsense in THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL.

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GIANT OSCAR MESS: Best Dance of Seduction

In my continuing coverage of GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE), I present to you the nominees for BEST DANCE OF SEDUCTION IN A MOTION PICTURE.

And the winners were...

....Deborah Reed and David McConnell in TROLL 2, for obvious reasons.

(to be continued...)

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GIANT OSCAR MESS: Best Spazzified Solo Dance

In my continuing coverage of GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE), I present to you the nominees for BEST SPAZZIFIED SOLO DANCE IN A MOTION PICTURE.


And the winner was...

....Mark Patton in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, for special achievement in multi-tasking between doing a spazzified solo dance and completing his housework.

(to be continued...)

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Giant Oscar Mess: Best (Non-Dance) Duel

In my continuing coverage of GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE), I present to you the nominees for BEST (NON-DANCE) DUEL IN A MOTION PICTURE. Lorenzo Lamas continues on as the Meryl Streep of the GIANT OSCAR MESS and Junta Juleil faves Michael Ironside and Jean-Claude Van Damme enter the fray.

You can watch the clips HERE. (The vast corporate flagging device built-in to YouTube has disabled embedding.)




And the winner was...

...Jean-Claude Van Damme...

...vs. Truck.

(To be continued)

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GIANT OSCAR MESS: Best Fight Dance

In my continuing coverage of GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE), I present to you the nominees for BEST FIGHT DANCE IN A MOTION PICTURE.


And the winner was...

...a Bunch of Italians and a Guy in an Owl Mask in STAGEFRIGHT.

(To be continued)

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GIANT OSCAR MESS: Best Monologue

Greeting and salutations! GIANT OSCAR MESS (best described HERE) was performed and projected last night at the Bowery Poetry Club, and it was fairly redunkulous, as I had hoped. Life imitated art, also, as Jillaine's performance as Sean Young found resolution in an actual headline from this morning. In any event, for those of you who couldn't make it, I decided to post the nominee videos that were projected last night, one at at time. This one's for BEST MONOLOGUE.

And the winner was....

...Gary Busey.

(To be continued)

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GIANT OSCAR MESS: And the nominees are...

Tonight at 9:30 p.m. (doors open at 9) at the Bowery Poetry Club (308 Bowery between Houston and Bleecker, take the F train to 2nd Ave, or the 6 to Bleecker) will be GIANT OSCAR MESS!!! $10 at the door. Combining live performance, singers, dancers, comics, and hosted by Sean Young (Jillaine Gill) and Christian Slater (Sean Gill), the GIANT OSCAR MESS will deliver awards to the films that really deserve them–

And the nominees are...

BEST MONOLOGUE IN A MOTION PICTURE:
Lorenzo Lamas in SNAKE EATER
Gary Busey in SURVIVING THE GAME
Lorenzo Lamas in BODY ROCK

BEST FIGHT DANCE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Lorenzo Lamas and Day-Glo Skeletons in BODY ROCK
A Bunch of Italians and a Guy in an Owl Mask in STAGEFRIGHT
Rob Stone and the Purple Falcons in ACE HITS THE BIG TIME

BEST NON-DANCE DUEL IN A MOTION PICTURE
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs. Truck in HARD TARGET
Ninja vs. Office Worker in REVENGE OF THE NINJA
Lorenzo Lamas vs. Biker Karate Gang in SNAKE EATER
Man vs. Ghoulie in GHOULIES II
Michael Ironside vs. Subway train in HIGHLANDER 2: THE QUICKENING
Jean-Claude Van Damme vs. Snake in HARD TARGET

BEST SPAZZIFIED SOLO DANCE IN A MOTION PICTURE
James Remar in RENT-A-COP
Michael Moriarty in TROLL
Lorenzo Lamas in BODY ROCK
Mark Patton in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE
Connie McFarland in TROLL 2

BEST DANCE OF SEDUCTION IN A MOTION PICTURE
Ed Harris & Elizabeth Regan in CREEPSHOW
Kristy McNichol and Christopher Atkins in THE PIRATE MOVIE
Deborah Reed and David McConnell in TROLL 2
John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis in PERFECT
Construction Worker and the Female Sex in CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC

BEST PUPPET IN A MOTION PICTURE
Satan and Killer Starfish in ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE
Mac in MAC AND ME
The Kids in THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS THE MOVIE
Freddy's Kids in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS
Munchie in MUNCHIE

Hope to see you there!

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GIANT OSCAR MESS promo!

For those who are not interested in EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE. Details HERE.

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Next Sunday: GIANT OSCAR MESS at the Bowery Poetry Club

As part of my ongoing series as an artist-in-residence at the Bowery Poetry Club:

Next Sunday, February 26th at 9:30 p.m. (doors open at 9) at the Bowery Poetry Club (308 Bowery between Houston and Bleecker, take the F train to 2nd Ave, or the 6 to Bleecker) will be Junta Juleil's retort to the Academy Awards– the GIANT OSCAR MESS. Combining live performance, singers, dancers, comics, and hosted by Sean Young (Jillaine Gill) and Christian Slater (Sean Gill), the GIANT OSCAR MESS will deliver awards to the films that really deserve them (and screen a variety of short, mind-blowing clips therein); films like PERFECT, TROLL 2, THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE, BODY ROCK, MUNCHIE, THE PIRATE MOVIE, ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE, RENT-A-COP, MAC AND ME, TEEN WITCH, ACE HITS THE BIG TIME, DEATH WISH 3, SALSA, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, and many, many more. $10 at the door.

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