Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 86 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Starring The Fat Boys (Mark Morales, Darren Robinson, & Damon Wimbley), Anthony Geary (FISH TANK, BLOOD SABBATH), Tony Plana (VALLEY GIRL, JFK, UGLY BETTY), Marco Rodriguez (COBRA, THE CROW), and Ralph Bellamy (HIS GIRL FRIDAY, ROSEMARY'S BABY, THE WOLF MAN). Written by Mitchell Klebanoff and Mark Feldberg (BEVERLY HILLS NINJA). Directed by Michael Schultz (THE LAST DRAGON, CAR WASH). Featuring music by Bon Jovi, Bananarama, The Fat Boys, Ca$hflow, and The Art of Noise.
Tag-line: "Lapping up luxury and rapping up a storm!"
Best one-liner: Every... single... line.
[TO PROPERLY READ THIS REVIEW, BEGIN BEAT-BOXING NOW]
[TO PROPERLY READ THIS REVIEW, BEGIN BEAT-BOXING NOW]
The Fat Boys are back
And you know they can never be whack
The Fat Boys are back
As thespians they've a natural knack
To film goers they had nothin' to prove
Cause they stole our hearts already with the masterpiece KRUSH GROOVE
Disorderly orderlies with skills you can't dismiss
They say "Let's do this like Brutus... or maybe (Jerry) Lewis"
A gold-diggin' son sprouts an scheme quite cockamamie
Holy shit, his dad is played by Ralph Bell-amy!?
Anyway the son, he wants his wealthy dad dead
So he hires on the Fat Boys to nurse him in his bed
Son leaves 'em alone because he's content
That sooner or later dad'll meet with an acc-i-dent
With Hawaiian shirts and Davy Crockett hats
The Boys aren't quite ready for tuxedos and spats
Son leaves 'em alone because he's content
That sooner or later dad'll meet with an acc-i-dent
With Hawaiian shirts and Davy Crockett hats
The Boys aren't quite ready for tuxedos and spats
First they play poker, ante-in' up with his pills
Then they get the idea for some Bellamy cheap-thrills!
You think he's gonna hate it at the roller discoteque
But he ends up fittin' perfect, like a cassette fits a deck!
The Fat Boys are back
And you know they can never be whack
The Fat Boys are back
As thespians they've a natural knack
There's a Fuller-style WHITE DOG who needs to be fought
Hey– Remember when COBRA was drinkin' the beer
and told this guy "Go ahead, I don't shop here"
Well that Cannon Film baddie of Golan n' Globus
Shows up here with his same old sour puss
He could maybe even pass for– well he could almos'
STAND AND DELIVER like a poor man's Ol-mos
The Fat Boys are back
And you know they can never be whack
The Fat Boys are back
As thespians they've a natural knack
Dressed to the nine
Scottish pine
Fine red wine...
CON-GA LINE!
They're livin' the high life cause they're such good guys
Hell, I think the Fat Boys rate a Nobel Prize
Well to the evil son that don't mean a thing
Who I forgot to mention looks a lot like Sting
He assaults dad's mansion 'stead of eatin' some crow
And the denouement seems culled from a RAMBO
The baddies get Krushed by the weight o' the boys
Even in combat they've got a natural poise
It gets real zany n' there's a fire jet of flame
but dontcha worry kiddies cause we end on a freeze-frame!
The Fat Boys are back
And you know they can never be whack
The Fat Boys are back
As thespians they've a natural knack
[END BEAT-BOXING NOW]
-Sean Gill
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